Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Does it ever end?

It was time. Time to clean out my Mom's closet. Since I live the closest and had some time on my hands, I decided to give my siblings a break and tackled it myself with the occasional help of one sister via ichat.
It made me ask the question, "Will this grief ever end?" Of course I already know the answer since I'm so experienced in the matter and the answer - "No." Time does ease the pain but it is never gone. Sometimes it comes so unexpectedly that it feels like a punch in the gut. Sometimes it comes with a smile from an unexpected memory remembered. Sometimes it comes in waves that come crashing in but gradually recede.
Do I wish my mom and sister were still here? YES. But I wouldn't give up everything I've learned from the experience. I've learned that I can do hard things, and those hard things are done much easier when I allow the Lord into my life. I've learned that my family will always be close no matter what happens. I've learned not to value material things because I've packed up all of my mom and sister's things that they couldn't take with them - none of that matters. The only thing that matters is the relationships you make and keep while you are here.
Here's a picture of my mom's empty closet. It was bittersweet to do the deed. But I also had fun remembering how pretty she used to look in that dress my dad gave her, or seeing all of her "work" clothes that had paint, dirt, and holes in them from working on her house and yard.
But the things I cherished the most were my mom's scarves and hats that she wore for the last year of her life. Because that last year will always be remembered in a special, grateful way. Grateful that a loving God gave us one last year to learn and grow from each other.
So I ask you this, "What do you cherish?"

3 comments:

  1. I agree with you 100%. I was trying to explain to Randy why we didn't really care who got what of Mom's stuff. It's just stuff. Our memories are priceless.

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  2. I also loved this post! Thank you for your sweet testimony!!!

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